hmmm...spent quite a long time with her recently.

Since that day...err..We broke up @ the same time..- - fuking hell...what an coincident?

its like phone calls and msn and stuff...tbh we hvnt talked to each other for quite long but every time theres a start its just so hard to get to an end.

hmmmm..i thought i'd just ignore her for the rest of my life but turn out to be a...unique frd?

a frd that i can share everything..a frd that can be understood easily and not gonna argue with me (so far)..

A unique..unique one.

 

Its strange...and weird.

I always said it was strange enuf to stay up doing nth at all while sleepy at nite 2~3 yrs ago.

And I kinda stopped doin it these yrs.

And I am doing it now again.

I said to milli..."after all this times and efford, just to make ourselves happie, to make our lives more colourful,

after all that...its me and u here online again."

Its like going all the way, used up ur energy..try ur best..reach ur human limit..to race in a circular track.

U found out u standing where u were.

 

Its me staying up here again.

some ppl told me " if they luv each other ppl will finally be together again".

I guess thats referring to a diff person..that i dont want to think abt it not even a sec.

for milli..well,I dont think we will be like that in any near future..lol...

eventhough we joked about this quite a lot.

but its like at that time i was thinking......

all those memories..everything...time we shared..places we've been to...words we said..

its all gone for a waste.

yea..true...i think i forgot most of them. but everytime she metioned sth, theres a link there..one links to the other..

they r all hiding there...deep in my heart.

Those stuff i was sooo despately to keep ...those emails..those QQ&msn histories...letters she wrote to me..diaries i wrote...its ALL been left.

then we started to hv some contacts, and we were like hving those ironic convers..

 

it was all gone wrong rite..

but guess what...im fine with it.

and at the end we were soo unique to each other.

soooo irreplaceable.

 

even now.

i am sure shes not perfect and no one is.

i'd say..theres no regreting knowing her at all.

like u said...1st luv in life...suppose to be diff...lol = =

 

alrite....enuf la i think..- -

its diff situation...not entire of it but its just diff and not compareble.

its not even a "said from experience" or "learn from the past"

what happened happen.

i know shes good and i am bad and thats it.

at least i tried my best and got the best response and a perfect reaction of all time.

shes soo nice. I mean it.

all she said and done were for my own good.

it hurts more than the literal heart attacks i had i hv to say.

but thats it, end of the story.

 

its been two weeks and its like 900 yrs now.

a lesson to learn. A very expensive one.

A very expensive one..

 

ppl...i just got back and im leaving soon.

to somewhere...i am gonna spend a yr in abroad..doing what i like...got surounding by kids.

" i want to be a maths teacher just like you.."

lol..will i still hear that..

whom shall i share all those story with.

 

ok, if u reach this line. congrets.

idk, the purpose of written in eng is that to leave a quiet place at my blog and ....thx for all of ur careness.

just ..i know what to do and thx for all the bull shxts.

sorrie..but..yes. ..after this sentence i am a frd-less person...sorrie, not in moods.

 

BJ TIME 05:05, its been ...2 (or 1) yr(s) and a half from greenwich time 17:48?

i dont like it when i am down, but i know and i am sure it is when im gonna make a diff.

yes...all of u..

and Hei, shut urself as well.

Hvnt put up stuff for quite long.

Heres a short notice.

 

Leaving soon.

Walked out for breakfast just now, yea it was a breakfast, nths too special at this sleepless weekend.

It was like battles I'd say, but the thing is, whos the oppounent?

Days n nites, got a bit fed up with this damn room.

All the way to the resturant, hardly any cars on the street at the heart of London, a few ppl on the street, no suits, no hurry.

Its all quiet and peaceful. Can u imagine.

 

Sitting besides the window, watching all those strangers walking past, theresl nth to do with me.

Cant think of a thing in my mind. Its all empty.

Harrsh borrows are my fav, they were overheated. All of them, cant taste nth, hard to swallow.

Nth is good when overheat. Theres no expection.

Its ok to be mean, and its fine to be miserble.

But that was well beyond what I can bear.

 

Cant stand to go back to my room, there're stuff all over the place.

I am not a good person.

I cant take good care of myself. LOL.

Its been me me me, and me all alone these yrs.

I thought I wasnt but I am wrong.

Once again, back to the begining,

Where I have nth at all.

I'd rather wake up like this, me and my bed, nice and comfortable, nth else.

Its like offering kids sweets, and take them all back. Left them crying at the street.

 

I am not a good person, wouldnt feel a thing of that.

Just somehow yelling like losing control.

At this 200 sq inch room.

I have me. It belongs to me.

The computers not mine, my family bought it.

My books are not mine, they are borrow from other ppl.

My gundam is not mine, anyone can come and take it home.

 

Take all those.

Take them all back.

Back to where they should be.

But leave me alone.

And leave ME alone.